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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Candy Floss At The Job Centre.


This is brilliant, Labour's latest election slogan, I mean. With the Pound crashing on the foreign exchanges, spending in the shops hitting new lows, and 7 million out of work, here is the slogan to sum it all up. After thirteen years of Labour in power, things are now so bad in the present time, and the past so wretched, the only thing that can be spoken of safely, is the future.

Of all the Labour spin-meister's works, this is surely the greatest. The middle ground is lost. The third way is buried. Cool Britannia has burned. All that is left is the future, the promise of an equivalent misery for us all, as we live on despairing in Brown's bankrupt Britain. With no one prepared to believe his tarnished 'how I saved the world' version of history, or ignore our current slide down the world's rankings of every significant measure, the only thing left for him to safely exaggerate is what is to come.

Sweet, isn't it, that he still wants to try.

And because we're Brits, we pretend to believe him, as we don't like upsetting folk unnecessarily. He might come back on screen again as last week, and cry some more, if we're beastly to Gordon. It's better to be nice to Gordon if we don't want him to blub.

It's only another month or so. And we won't have to pretend any longer and he'll be gone. Phew!!!

Meanwhile, tell us more about this utopian dream, Gordon. Will it be like Disneyland? Can we all look forward to candy floss at the Job Centre? Will we all get free rides on the bus home after collecting our social security? And can we all look forward to a donkey ride once a year at the sea-side?

Such a nice gentle man.
Shame really.

There should be a statue of him erected in Parliament Square, his face looking up angrily to the sky with his huge mouth open for the kids to pass through, and slide down to their unemployed Dads waiting patiently below. It would be a fitting remembrance of the Brown Years for future generations, as they struggle to pay off his debts.

PICTURE - borrowed from those two naughty boys, Tim Montgomerie and Jonathan Isaby.

And another good one -

5 comments:

Twig said...

There should be a memorial so that future generations can see what socialism did to a once proud and independent nation.

Your previous post with the list of Brown's "achievements" should be engraved on a brass plaque lest we forget.

tapestry said...

Yes Twig. And here it is again -

THESE ARE BROWN’S ACHIEVEMENTS AS PM AND CHANCELLOR, the legacy your families will pay for generations to come.

-22,500 of debt for every child born in Britain
- 111 tax rises from a government that promised no tax rises at all
- The longest national tax code in the world
- 100,000 million pounds drained from British pension funds
- Gun crime up by 57%
- Violent crime up 70%
- The highest proportion of children living in workless households anywhere in Europe
- The number of pensioners living in poverty up by 100,000
- The lowest level of social mobility in the developed world
- The only G7 country with no growth this year
- One in six young people neither earning nor learning
- 5 million people on out-of –work benefits
- Missing the target of halving child poverty
- Ending up with child poverty rising in each of the last three years instead
- Cancer survival rates among the worst in Europe
- Hospital-acquired infections killing nearly three times as many people as are killed on the roads
- Falling from 4th to 13th in the world competitiveness league
- Falling from 8th to 24th in the world education rankings in maths
- Falling from 7th to 17th in the rankings in literacy
- The police spending more time on paperwork than on the beat
- Fatal stabbings at an all-time high
- Prisoners released without serving their sentences
- Foreign prisoners released and never deported
- 7 million people without an NHS dentist
- Small business taxes going up
- Business taxes raised from among the lowest to among the highest in Europe
- Tax rises for working people set for after the election
- The 10p tax rate abolished
- And the ludicrous promise to have ended boom and bust
- Our gold reserves sold for a quarter of their worth
- Our armed forces overstretched and under-supplied
- Profitable post offices closed against their will
- One of the highest rates of family breakdown in Europe
- The ‘Golden Rule’ on borrowing abandoned when it didn’t fit
- Police inspectors in 10,Downing Street
- Dossiers that were dodgy
- Mandelson resigning the first time
- Mandelson resigning the second time
- Mandelson coming back for a third time
- Bad news buried
- Personal details lost
- An election bottled
- A referendum denied

Hat Tip - 13 Years And Counting, commenter on Order Order.

tapestry said...

Oh yes, and the original author of the list is now embedded in the post 13 Years And Counting.

Twig said...

@Tapestry
If Hague had remained leader the Tories would be 50 points ahead in the polls by now. Their mistake was to push people like May and Cameron to the fore. Whenever I see or hear Teresa May it confirms my worst fears about the Tories.

tapestry said...

The constitution of the Conservative Party is a complicated affair, and policy is set to a large extent by the Party Board. These changes were introduced by Hague were intended to make the Party more democratic, but had the opposite effect of overly centralising the Party, disempowering the membership and the constituencies, bar one vital role - the members are a crucial part of leader selection.

Hague does not want to lead the Party again, but no one could doubt his skill as a communicator.

The task for the Party is twofold, winning power and exercising it. The winning of power has required and still requires Cameron and May etc to act as quasi-Fabians, keeping the media onside.

Once in power, they might have a completely different agenda from the one they espouse while winning power. Don't confuse the two.