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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Lib Dems Need Help

A Lib Dem leader must be someone who understands that taking risks is bad and should be discouraged, that people who build businesses are a threat to the health of their employees, and that wealth-creation is unsettling for society in general.

They must be good at picking holes in everything they come across, posturing with an air of moral superiority and be sure to make those who always came second in life, feel less bad about their relative failure.

Other than that they must be someone who never uses less than a hundred words when ten would do, and they must be able to act out a role as if they were ruling a quarter of the globe, when in fact they will never rule anything.

Criminals, they believe, need sympathy and understanding, while victims must understand how they have brought their misfortunes upon themselves.

Was there ever a more pointless political party? Its leaders are invariably tragic - alcoholic, narcissistic, nauseous even murderous.

In truth, the party is neither liberal, nor is it democratic. It is merely nondescript.

Why don't they form a self help group?
'My name is Charles and I'm a Liberal Democrat' etc

At least we'd be spared two whole months of media exposure of this nondescript ragbag collection of social misfits as it struggles to define a new version of purposelessness, and find someone to lead, who is either alcoholic, a user of male prostitutes, a victim of blackmail or has some other other 'essential' Liberal Democratic dysfunction - a grievous process surely best carried out in private.

I think I've found exactly the thing they need

They would win a lot more admiration and support if they decided to stop wasting everyone else's time, and worked hard on their own problems. Kennedy has shown the way. There are many good and well-qualified people who can help them on a personal level, but bidding for political power in the name of dysfunctionality should be brought to an end.

2 comments:

Oliver McCarthy said...

It wouldn't be a self-help group. It would be a self-hate group.

tapestry said...

You are probably right Oliver. That's why they need help. It's like dealing with teenagers. You have to give them love, even though you might be feeling otherwise.